This week’s blog is all about that SELF LOVE. A concept that’s easier said than done. Although I am now someone who loves themselves through and through, that was not always the case.
I’ve been cheated on.. and blamed myself. I’ve compared myself to “the other girl” and wondered what she had that I didn’t. I’ve sent the “Can you just talk to me?” text, when I was the one who got played..
I’ve stared in the mirror and pinched my “fat”. I’ve cried at night because I was so unhappy. I’ve gone to therapy, I’ve read the self help books, I know what it’s like to “hit rock bottom”. My advice? Don’t wait to hit Rock Bottom before you make a change. It’s not a cool place to visit. And for those of you who feel like you’re already there…whelp, here’s a cliche you’ve heard a thousand times, the only place to go is up.
So now let me throw another cliche at you, the view is better from the top. Change isn’t easy. Especially when day after day you’ve done nothing, but beat yourself up and kick yourself while you’re down. Stop doing that. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a family member, best friend, someone you truly care about. Treat yourself the way you treat others and soon enough you’ll have the world.
So what does that look like exactly? Well.. for one I started going to the gym regularly. Which wasn’t easy at first, but making my bed everyday helped me build the discipline to follow through. If there’s one thing I learned it’s that you never hate yourself for going
to the gym..just when you miss it. So get up and go.
I also STOPPED counting calories. Now I’m not encouraging that people delete their fitness apps or stop doing the things that help them live a healthy lifestyle, but for me personally, every calorie over my recommended intake made me depressed. Instead I started practicing mindful dieting. Dieting Mindfully basically means before I ate something I’d ask myself why and if it was something that would be of benefit. What I noticed is that most of the time I was eating when I was either bored or sad, not when I was actually hungry. So now every time I feel the urge to eat something I think about my current mental state, drink a glass of water first, and if the craving comes back the second time then I will indulge. More often than not, the craving doesn’t return. But if it does return, DON’T HATE YOURSELF FOR EATING THE BURRITO.
Lastly, I stopped torturing myself. What does that mean? I deleted ALL SOCIAL MEDIA platforms. Yup, that’s right…all of them. We all have watched the Snapchat story of the person who never texted us back..we’ve looked through someone else’s “likes” on Instagram to see if our significant other showed up in it.. that’s called torture. Stop doing it.
Instead, date yourself! Once a month I’d get a pedicure. The hour before I fell asleep I spent in bed, with either a book or the TV remote in my hand. I started saying “no” to others and “yes” to myself. I’d write myself a journal passage every few days just reminding me how proud I am of all that I’ve accomplished.
I want you to ask yourself this “How can you expect someone to love you, when you don’t know how to love yourself?” If I didn’t take the time I did to explore being “lonely” I wouldn’t have found out that I am someone who wants to be written love notes. I am someone who values their time, so I no longer waste it on things/people that don’t value me. I fucking love myself. I may not always like myself or be happy with myself. But there’s never a day where I don’t remind myself that I am Ashley Fucking Weissmann.