Holiday Roast

Holiday Roast


So first off, Happy Holidays. Tis’ the season for good people, good times, and a traditional family roast. For those of you who are thinking about the 15lb Butterball that was sitting on your table, I am sorry to disappoint…the roast I’m talking about is quite different. What I’m referring to are the never ending questions about our job (or lack there of), current relationship status, and the ever so infamous question of “So, what do you want to do with your life?” Oh yeah… now it’s ringing a bell. I’m talking about the Holiday Roast.

When I first thought about writing a blog post on this topic I wasn’t too sure what direction I wanted to go. I wanted to tell everyone it’s okay to feel uncomfortable and you’re not the only one who has the horrid interaction with that ONE family member who can’t take a hint. But then I thought “Well you shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable during the holidays, and you should take a deep breath and just tell your relative what’s really on your mind.” BUT…. then I would be a hypocrite if I gave you all that advice..

To be completely honest, I’m openly gay and when I brought my girlfriend over to a family friend’s house, we decided to tell everyone who asked, “So how do you two know each other?” that “We’re friends from school.” We decided to answer that way not because we are ashamed, but because we didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. We were in a very Catholic household, with a very older crowd, and they weren’t a group of people I knew too well. So that’s what I find sort of ironic. We lie to strangers about our personal lives, but we also lie to our closest relatives. We tell them we’re happy when we’re not. We tell them our last relationship was a mutual split, when really, the person we were with was a piece of shit who dragged us through the dirt. We say we’re single because we’re afraid to say we’re gay..we say we love our job when every day we’re thinking about quitting.

So, Ashley, what is this blog about? Well this blog isn’t about too much I guess. I write blogs in hopes that one person reads it and feels SOMETHING. So this week, I have no “advice” so to say. This week I just want to say you’re not alone. We all get family roasted. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable and stretch the truth. I hope you and I don’t have to do that some day. You are who you are and that makes you beautiful. Own your truth. One day you’ll feel courageous, one day you’ll feel brave, one day you’ll take a deep breath and say how you really feel. But if today isn’t that day, then that’s okay. It wasn’t that day for a lot of us…Happy Holidays, my friend.


7 thoughts on Holiday Roast

  1. You never have to lie to me I will always love no mater how much of a pain in the ass you are or who you are dating

  2. Nicely put Ashley. I needed this. All your blogs have stuck with me. I am struggling with my what I want to do for the rest of my life. I feel right now all I do is work to live not live to work. I have all these ideas in my head I would love to act on. But, there are some many, many reason why I can’t. It truly bums me out sometimes. I want to figure out now what my passion is. I am just nervous, scared and it is risky financially. I am not getting any younger too. Thanks for sharing.

    • Thank you for sharing Darrell! You’re not alone in your struggle. Finding the balance between chasing your dream and being “comfortable” is hard. Especially when you have to think of others and how your choices could effect those you love. You’re a brilliant individual and your ideas deserve to see light. I hope as time passes you find away to satisfy the itch you have. Good luck and keep going!

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